Friday, April 25, 2008

Dear Mr. Shapiro

Mr. Mark Shapiro
Cleveland Indians
2401 Ontario Street
Cleveland, OH 44115

Dear Mr. Shapiro:

Let me first thank you for giving the opportunity to be a productive member of the Major League club (even if for only four days). I hope that you recognize that I’ve been giving it my best effort, even though my playing time has been limited.

Now, I know you’re going to have to make a though decision tomorrow. Let me try to make is easier for you. If the “always-wet” blonde hair is a selling point, let me tell you now, I’m willing to wear a wig if it means I get to stay here in Cleveland. Also, if having a beard means playing time (as it seems others are benefiting from that policy) I’m willing to grow one. Hell, I’ll wear the wig and grow a beard.

If there are defensive concerns let me assure you that I would have caught that ball last night that made a certain somebody look silly. Also, my superb vision allows me to distinguish between Metrodome ceiling cloth and baseball leather.

I just hope you hear the screams from the fans; after all they pay your salary and mine.


Ben Francisco
Left Fielder
Cleveland Indians

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Tribe Sends Manager Wedge to the DL

KANSAS CITY, MO - In a surprising and unprecedented development, the Cleveland Indians have placed their mild-mannered manager on the 15-day disabled list. Tribe manager Eric Wedge said in a telephone interview with LFL that he injured his vocal cords in spring training and felt he could work through it. Wedge spent the first nineteen games being unable to argue blown calls and floating strike zones. The final blow came Tuesday night when Wedge was unable to successfully argue players being granted timeouts while C.C. was beginning his windup. After the game Wedge unselfishly sought the advice of team trainers. After several tests were conducted, it was determined, for the sake of his career that Wedge should take some time off to rest his vocal cords.

Mark Sharpiro, once again showing his outstanding GM skills, passed on assigning interim managerial duties to bench coach Jeff Datz or third base coach Joel Skinner. He instead traded hitting coach Derek Shelton to the Mississippi Braves (Atlanta's AA affiliate) for their manager Phillip Wellman (showing his managerial abilities in the above YouTube video).

Shapiro, taking advantage of road trip that stopped in Kansas City, convinced Royals vice president of baseball operations, George Brett to resign from his position and replace Shelton as Cleveland's new hitting coach.

Shapiro's hope is that these two hot-heads will help to inspire the young Tribe to show some emotion and maybe play to their potential, but at the very least, give the fans something to cheer about.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Welcome Statement

As all Cleveland Indians fans know, sometimes coping with the effects of being a fan of said sports team can be tough. I could ramble on and on about what could have been or should be, but I'll leave that to more qualified writers. The purpose of this blog is to offer a place that can help take your mind off of what is really going on with the Cleveland Indians.

Let me warn you, I have no formal literary training (outside of a Technical Writing class in college) and if not for the Wild Wild Web, would have no hope having my "witty" content being published. Blogspot's website does offer a spell check (as long as I don't forget to use it), but it does not offer a grammar/English check (so, please forgive me, English is my 1st language and I'm still learning). My 8th grade English teacher would be proud.

My goal is to try to add a new post about once a week or so. If you like what you find here, check back often, I'll try to keep it fresh. If you don't like what you find here, then check back often, I'll try to continue disappointing you. If you'd like to comment, positive or negative, please do I would like know what you think.

Thank you for visiting and I hope you enjoy your stay.