Friday, April 25, 2008

Dear Mr. Shapiro

Mr. Mark Shapiro
Cleveland Indians
2401 Ontario Street
Cleveland, OH 44115

Dear Mr. Shapiro:

Let me first thank you for giving the opportunity to be a productive member of the Major League club (even if for only four days). I hope that you recognize that I’ve been giving it my best effort, even though my playing time has been limited.

Now, I know you’re going to have to make a though decision tomorrow. Let me try to make is easier for you. If the “always-wet” blonde hair is a selling point, let me tell you now, I’m willing to wear a wig if it means I get to stay here in Cleveland. Also, if having a beard means playing time (as it seems others are benefiting from that policy) I’m willing to grow one. Hell, I’ll wear the wig and grow a beard.

If there are defensive concerns let me assure you that I would have caught that ball last night that made a certain somebody look silly. Also, my superb vision allows me to distinguish between Metrodome ceiling cloth and baseball leather.

I just hope you hear the screams from the fans; after all they pay your salary and mine.


Ben Francisco
Left Fielder
Cleveland Indians

1 comment:

minktrapper said...

I think JMike is dating Shapiro's sister...