Thursday, May 15, 2008

Borowski To Return From DL

KISSIMMEE, FL - Reports are that Joe Borowski's recovery from a tricep strain is progressing well at an anti-aging clinic in Florida. He is expected to return from the DL in time for this weekend's series in Cincinnati. An anonymous source has told LFL that Borowski's MRI on April, 15th was conducted by Paul Byrd's dentist in Florida (we’ll let you draw your own conclusions to that).

Apparently “JoeBlow” (a nickname given to him by his faithful fans) is healing "faster" than expected and along with rehabbing his rubber arm; he is also working on his mechanics. When he returns to the Tribe he will be sporting a brand-new double-windup hand lick, which is surely to disgust the opposing batters, rendering them powerless to offer at his 83 MPH fastball.

Upon his return, Borowski will replace Rafael Betancourt as the team's closer. When ask about the demotion in an exclusive LFL interview, Betancourt responded "No espere que me a seguir celebrando el plomo, sólo para verla volado. En serio, estamos todos jodidos!" (Roll Over For Translation)

When questioned about Borowski's return, Indians manager, Eric Wedge stated "I understand there will be some outrage from the fans. Let me explain our thought process on this; our starting pitching is keeping teams from scoring and our offense appears to be coming around, so hopefully by the ninth inning our lead will be four or more runs and none of this will mater."

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