Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Time To Fix Blame

CLEVELAND, OH - Cleveland Indians manager Eric Wedge announced that after 44 years of service with the Tribe he was sending bullpen coach Luis Issac packing. For most, this firing was a long time coming as it was no secret that Joe Borowski had paid off Issac to remain quite when his fastball was topping out at 79 MPH in the bullpen on April 14th.

Wedge also announced that he would be replacing bleacher drummer John Adams. Wedge commented, "He defiantly could have been drumming more passionately when we need him the most." Wedge is said to be interviewing several fair-weather fans to be Adams replacement. When asked if he had the authority to bar Adams from the stadium Wedge said, "he can still come, just leave that damn drum at home!"

Wedge further surprised the media assembled for the press conference when he announced that the "Beer Man" would be let go. Wedge explained "he spends too much time showing off his vocal capabilities instead of selling beer. Do you realize how much more we would have to spend on free agency this winter if he was selling more?"

No doubt, the heads will continued to roll.

Friday, September 19, 2008

The Pronk Is Back!

CLEVELAND, OH - During the fourth inning of Thursday's game against the Minnesota Twins, Travis Hafner smashed a home run to right center field. During the radio broadcast Mike Hegan exclaimed "The Pronk Is Back!"

One might assume this is a little premature and probably an example of a broadcaster getting a little ahead of himself until it was also discovered that Matt Underwood made the same pronouncement during the STO broadcast of game. It was then reported that the Progressive Field fans were chanting "Pronk Is Back, Pronk Is Back!". The side of the mezzanine level in right field now reads "Welcome BACK to Pronkville". There is also a billboard on I-90 West as you are coming into Cleveland that proclaims the same. We feel sorry for the Tribe fan base in Cleveland, as it is obvious that this is something that has been weighing heavily on them for some time.